DON’T starve yourself. “I highly recommend eating a good meal before you leave home,” Peifer says. “My husband made me scrambled eggs at 4:30 in the morning. I needed the energy and it was worth the chance that I’d poop during pushing.” I couldn’t agree more. I downed an egg sandwich at home during early labor, then snacked on toast, Jell-O, and, when I was at the hospital, the kind of electrolyte jellybeans used by marathoners. I may or may not have pooped during pushing. At that point — somewhat surprisingly — I didn’t at all care.

DO expect to want to quit. You’d be in the minority if you didn’t. “Every woman reaches a point in labor when she doesn’t want to do it anymore,” says Kelly Camden, LM, CPM, of Holistic Midwifery in Albuquerque, NM. “Fortunately, for most of us this happens when we are nearing the end of labor.” Lean on those around you who are there to support you, and focus on how it will feel to hold your baby for the first time.

DON’T beat yourself up if you don’t have the natural birth of your dreams. I, for one, am still quite proud of my almost-natural first birth. Did I mention that I labored drug-free for nearly 30 hours? I did the very best I could. And I know more than a few women who did the same, who had everything nicely in place for a natural birth, yet ended up with drugs and C-sections. And, more important, healthy babies. Which is truly the ultimate goal, right?